Sweet Mary I passed the Hospice where I said goodbye to you. It stands stoic and silent against an unlikely back drop. I can still see your face, your beautiful face that very last day. It had a light around it, cloaked in a celestial opus. You looked more beautiful than I had ever seen you. Do you think God gave me that final glimpse so I could see heaven? You were so peaceful, and I knew in my heart that God had already called your name. I stood by your bed in that mere magnificence and cried. I cried for joy that you would finally be at rest. You would bathe in that light. You would see your sister, your mom and Dad and maybe even my parents. You would live where the sky meets the earth and command the sunrise and sunset. And, I cried for myself, how much I miss you. I loved that I was able to spend all of that time with you - driving you, sitting with you and talking to you. You filled a part of my heart I never knew was empty. Such a gift you were. Not just a cousin but a co...
I think for the first 20 years of my marriage, I had a great deal of resentment towards my father-in-law. He was by all measures a wonderful man, but I felt in many ways, his grandchildren took a backseat to his happiness. And yet, the irony of it all, I also believe that other than my husband, he understood me the best. I will explain. After his retirement, he devoted most of his days and nights to the local high school and its sports program. It would seem logical since before that he had lived his life through his children's sports. An incredibly attentive parent in that regard, he coached them, encouraged them, and dreamed with them from T-ball through the entirety of high school. His breath was measured by the smell of a fresh cut baseball field. His heart beat to the pounding of shoes racing up and down a basketball court. And his eyes came alive with the lights of a Friday night football game. It was far more than his passion; it was his life. So why would...
Yesterday I thought a lot. I thought about my life, where I am, where I have been, even what may be ahead of me. When I talk to my friends who married later and had an entire lifetime it seems before they even said I DO, it makes me wonder how things may have been for me had I not gotten married at 20. I imagine a glamorous life, living in the city, working at a huge teaching hospital and catapulting my career there. Spending weekends out on the lake, having my own apartment, and carrying out the life few dare to dream. Whether that would have been the reality of it, I rather doubt. But, as so many say, the grass is always greener. The fact of the matter is that I am the sum of my journey, however mundane or exciting it may seem. I completely own all of the joys and all of the losses. And by most people's estimation, it has turned out to be a blessed life. I firmly believe that God has predestined my journey, and it is my ministry in life to wri...
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