A Life I Never Knew I Needed

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Yesterday I thought a lot. I thought about my life, where I am, where I have been, even what may be ahead of me. 

When I talk to my friends who married later and had an entire lifetime it seems before they even said I DO, it makes me wonder how things may have been for me had I not gotten married at 20. I imagine a glamorous life, living in the city, working at a huge teaching hospital and catapulting my career there. Spending weekends out on the lake, having my own apartment, and carrying out the life few dare to dream. Whether that would have been the reality of it, I rather doubt. But, as so many say, the grass is always greener. 

The fact of the matter is that I am the sum of my journey, however mundane or exciting it may seem. I completely own all of the joys and all of the losses. And by most people's estimation, it has turned out to be a blessed life. I firmly believe that God has predestined my journey, and it is my ministry in life to write about it. Not just write about it but reveal his love through it. 

We are all given gifts, gifts that some refer to as natural talent. But never lose sight of where those gifts come from, they come from God, consecrated through the Holy Spirit. I like to think I have been gifted with words. From a young age I have been encouraged to write. And now, even in my adulthood, I receive encouragement. But the fact of the matter is, in writing, the rejections are abundant, and the acceptances are few. I can't begin to tell you how that weighs on one. Not that I feel like I will ever win the Pulitzer Prize, or have my face appear on the side of a bus, but being told, it's not our style, it isn't what we are looking for now, or please think of us again, is difficult at best. Partly because my writing is a direct reflection of my life. I write about what I know best, personal experience. To that end, I have felt a bit discouraged lately. Not just for obvious reasons, but because I firmly and Soley believe that my writing is an extension of my Faith. The two are inseparable. 

And so, I promise, I will never stop writing. Whether one person reads it or a million. I was meant to marry at 20, and I was meant to marry Doug, have my three beautiful children and five extraordinary grandchildren. And all that has happened in between is the opus of my life. How very blessed am I! 

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