Sweet Mary

 

Sweet Mary

I passed the Hospice where I said goodbye to you. It stands stoic and silent against an unlikely back drop. I can still see your face, your beautiful face that very last day. It had a light around it, cloaked in a celestial opus. You looked more beautiful than I had ever seen you. Do you think God gave me that final glimpse so I could see heaven? You were so peaceful, and I knew in my heart that God had already called your name. I stood by your bed in that mere magnificence and cried. I cried for joy that you would finally be at rest. You would bathe in that light. You would see your sister, your mom and Dad and maybe even my parents. You would live where the sky meets the earth and command the sunrise and sunset. And, I cried for myself, how much I miss you. I loved that I was able to spend all of that time with you - driving you, sitting with you and talking to you. You filled a part of my heart I never knew was empty. Such a gift you were. Not just a cousin but a confidant and friend. You taught me things about our family I never knew. Sometimes we would laugh, and sometimes not. You trusted me, and really got to know me. Two women, with years lost between us, but somehow that no longer mattered.

All of this and more will be treasured, tucked into a crevice in my brain where it will be safe. Life isn't perfect, we grow from the imperfection. Like an old tree whose roots are tangled and worn. We are still able to gather shade from it or feel a cool breeze pass over us on a hot summer day. I too, have many tangled roots, so many mistakes I have made along the way, maybe even some ugly ones. But you looked past those and chose just to relish the breeze and know the shade. I will never be able to thank you enough for that. Rare is the person that can distinguish such an unconditional love. Be at peace Mary, you gave so very much.